Jimbo’s Stupid Criminal: Meat Crimes: A Schnitzel Dispute, and Stolen Sausage

Jimbo's Stupid Criminal: Meat Crimes: A Schnitzel Dispute, and Stolen Sausage
Jimbo,
A Cook Prepares A Schnitzel In The Kitchen Of The Newly Opened Restaurant Baggers In The Bavarian City Of Nuremberg
A cook prepares a schnitzel in the kitchen of the newly opened restaurant Baggers in the Bavarian city of Nuremberg August 30, 2007. Dishes in the restaurant are delivered directly to diners on an elaborate spiral rail network that descends from the second floor kitchen. The high-tech system distributes colour-coded dishes on miniature train-cars to diners, who scoop them up as they pass by, restaurant owner Michael Mack said on Wednesday. REUTERS/Alex Grimm (GERMANY)

 

 

It’s not illegal to beat your meat, as long as it doesn’t lead to a violent altercation.

The police were called in Germany, when a 61-year-old man verbally and physically assaulted his neighbor.  The attacker was furious because there was “loud pounding of the meat” as the neighbor was making schnitzel.

He may have had a legitimate beef if it happened during quiet hours, but that’s not clear.

When the police showed up, the meat-beater said the neighbor insulted him and slapped him in the face.  There’s no word on any charges or citations.

 

Speaking of meat-related crimes, a guy in Florida was accused of stealing more than $100 worth of sausage from a Walmart a few weeks back.

He knew what he was doing.  He filled a cart with 20 packages of sausage.  Then moved away from surveillance cameras . . . loaded the meat into his backpack . . . and walked out without paying.

He left on a bike, but the cops caught up with him down the road.  He was arrested for theft.

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